The things we try to carry-on

Back in 2015, I wrote this…

I’m sharing today.

It’s crazy tho; had this small thing not happened, I don’t think I’d even be married now.

Be careful what you carry-on…

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I travel a lot. For work mostly. About 2-3 times a month during busy season. So you’d think with that frequency, I’d be a pretty expert traveler, right?

Well, the other night I went through security, and one of my carry-ons got stopped. I quickly remembered my lotion and thought they would just take that. To my surprise they took both of my new Shea butter mixes, coconut oil AND body lotion.

I don’t know if you’re familiar with the consistency of Shea butter, but pure Shea is kind of hard and often takes some prodding to get it to a usable form – you have to kind of do a deep finger scoop, and then rub your palms together for the butter to melt.

Of all things, I was least worried about the Shea because its not liquid. After explaining that to the TSA with no avail, I abruptly turned away from the additional security screening area where the woman may or may not have still been talking (I know, I know. That was rude, but shorty was upset). I kind of lost patience when she told me to check them knowing darn well there was no way for me to check those things once I’d gone thru security and still make my flight.

I’ve gotten so many similar products thru security, I really was surprised. I’m still kind of mad writing this, but as I stomped away, I had to just put on some music to calm down. However another voice spoke louder than whatever track was playing.

“Lauren, don’t worry about leaving some things behind.”

Not going to lie, at this point, a tear was on the verge of rolling down my pouty face.

“Don’t get so worked up over the things you have to leave behind. Some things you just have to buy/recreate again.”

Talk about watery eyes in public.

Before I even got off the train that takes you to different parts of the airport, I was at such peace with what just happened 7 minutes prior. Mostly because God has a crazy way of speaking into my life at the times I need it most. It didn’t just resonate with my TSA experience but that message also applies to other areas of my life.

In my relationship, I can’t bring all of the things that I want or think I need – some things simply just HAVE to be left behind.

At the end of the day, TSA took my products because it was a matter of safety and security for all people. In that same way, some of the things that I have to leave behind in my relationship, are for the safety and security of the relationship. Some of the bad habits, attitudes, etc. could harm the relationship as a whole. Therefore it’s important that I not carry some things on board (even if it hurts or costs me).

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Gettin’ married and whatnot

**So as you all know, shortie got married *oooooouuuuuu* 🙂 So, I wanted to write a quick blog post to give insight, show appreciation, give shout outs! There’s no way we could have done it by ourselves so the support around us has meant so much! I also wanted to share because I don’t loosen reigns all that easily, so planning over the last year has definitely been a testament of RELINQUISHING. I’ve personally learned a lot about myself; My husband and I have learned a lot; we’ve learned alot about how we work together as a couple; we’ve learned a lot about the people around us  too! It’s been quite the experience to say the least…**

 

Marrying my best friend: 

A lot of people speculated so much would change; So many things will be different, etc etc. But I can’t say much has changed. Personality-wise we’re still the same individually and with one another. Neither one of us feel too differently, I guess since we been at this for 7 years…

We’re definitely excited for this part of the journey tho!!

The support systems: 
 
Family! Wow wow wow! Thank you all so much! To the mommas, dad, sisters! Y’all came throughhhhh! We love y’all so much! Thank you for supporting us and then some! For the wisdom, the love, the calls, the just in cases, sacrifice, finances, EVERYTHING!
Let me tell y’all bout my wedding planner and coordinator thOooo. She often knew before i did. Challenged me to create my vision and walked me through the steps to make it come alive. When i deterred and wanted to be basic, she wouldn’t let me and always did so in the most loving of ways! Like y’all, she’s just amazing!  I’m definitely hard-headed and a lot of times didn’t want to take the help, but she insisted with a smile on her face. I can honestly say the day wouldn’t have come together if it weren’t for her. I’m a procrastinator and her leading and questions were clutch. I’m sure she wanted to hit me upside the head a couple times, BUT she did everything with so much love and professionalism. I’d recommend her to everyone I know! Currently planning? Looking to get married in a few years? Your cousin’s brother’s homeboy getting married? You need to know her. She did alterations on my dress (y’all saw me looking like a snack), my BEAUTIFUL head piece and bomb earrings to match! She even hand made my garter (i wanna cry thinking of how much she helped me). My point being – call her! Hit me up for the deets! Rajeanne Bridal –  THANK YOU! ❤
The melanin magic: 
So many beautiful brown people. My eyes were so in love 😍 big shout out to our families – mommas, daddies, sisters, pastors for showing up and showing out! Y’all fine! And of course the entire bride squad and all groomsmen! Yall’s support and sacrifices have meant so much to us and we are forever grateful! That “whatever it takes attitude” has us forever indebted. Our hearts are warmed and it meant so much to share the day with y’all!
Hired services and even more support: 
Loved the opportunity to work with these peeps to make the day everything and then some. My sanDs Courtney and Brittany are so bomb for coming through as make up artists and literally slaying! Y’all did an amazing job – faces were beat with excellence and i can’t thank y’all enough 😘😘*muah*
Shout out to Mr. Ray Keith IV for coming through for the men – everyone looked so handsome and stylish – thank you for seeing the vision and making it greater! I ain’t always the easiest to work with but you pushed through and we appreciate you good sir!
Shout out to my wedding singer – Tonie Cole! Voice of an angel! Choked up walking down the aisle! So special and such an amazing touch. Your professionalism is a breath of fresh air and your helpfulness is amazing! You even stopped in early and helped with some eyebrows (lol thanks girl!) can’t thank you enough!
Photography and Videography provided by Degrace Imagery! We opted for the wedding package and had an engagement photoshoot included. Hubby actually hates taking pics but they made us feel so comfortable. I’ll do a separate post of photos, but I wanted to shoutout the husband wife team because their awesome! 🙂
Hair for bridesmaids was done by Britney! – Lord thank you for her willingness to come in a hurry. I was playing about buns, but shortie came through for the ultimate hair slay! Everyone’s buns were laid and baby hairs were fleeky! Thank you boo!!
The food!! Big thanks to Rene’s Catering Kitchen for throwing down on the chicken and shredded roast!
Cake – I was Caked By Petite ❤ Love at first bite  and it tasted as good as it looked! Definitely recommend her for any occasion!
Also special shout out to D’Ominque for bringing her talents all the way to Atlanta and baking some bomb cupcakes at the rehearsal dinner! I can still take the chocolate ones with the chocolate icing (SO GOOD!)
And  also special shout to my self-appointed assistant (lol) Stephanie for being SOOOOOO clutch!
Y’all both were so down to help and ensure I had what I needed – THANK YOU!! Love yall!
And to all the extra hands that took the time to help decorate and make the reception pretty – WOW! Absolutely love y’all! The time crunch was a major setback, but y’all made it seamless. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!
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We love and appreciate you all! Thank you for helping to make our wedding  special!                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           ❤

Delayed celebration.

Im a tardy “celebrator.” And naturally it always lessens the effect; the moment; the blessing.

It’s like i take a moment to celebrate and put it in a drawer labeled: “open and enjoy later.” But then time passes and i forget all about my things to celebrate.

And some things just don’t get better with time. I think this is one of those. It’s not wine. But it’s not milk either. It’s not like you forget it in the fridge and it starts to curdle and spoil. It’s just kind of there…like food you dont eat while it’s hot.

I don’t know if it’s this Latino blood in me or what, but all food intended to be hot, should be enjoyed HOT! And I’d even argue to say that it taste better that way too. (It irks me to no end to receive luke warm food at a restaurant. i don’t send it back anymore tho, i get worried people spit in it).

Anyhoo, what I’m saying is, if something is served to you, i think you should enjoy it in its intended form/purpose. This applies to celebratory moments, blessings, people, relationships (thadd and i almost never became “we” because i wasn’t too fond of his natural short form (just kidding, but not really)).

So I’m personally committing myself to celebrate more and to do so more often than not. Im confident that means I’ll have more posts and blogs detailing those celebrations. If y’all don’t see any – call me out. And if you need to celebrate more too – just do it. No excuses. And tell me – I’ll help hold you accountable too.

– Lauren Still Working on Relinquishing (and celebrating)

snow day findings & inspiration.

Snow days. First and foremost, I haven’t felt this freedom since college. Snow days were like getting an extra day back on your calendar. And these last few days, I’ve used it as my excuse to not leave the house. It’s been pure bliss my friends.

I’ve been able to knock out some wedding planning. Watch movies and specials. Read books. Reflect. Spend time with the fiancé. Talk and envision with self. Its been sooooo good. So very needed.

So a couple things I want to share:

The wedding is going to be bomb – celebration of the year (I’m claiming that)! We’re just really excited to celebrate with family and friends!

Bae and I watched Tiffany Haddish’s Showtime special – she’s hilarious y’all. It’s not an act – she just is who she is. I read another chapter of Issa Rae’s book – Awkward (y’all, I am her lol). I caught up on all the missed videos on Yvonne Orji’s Instagram page –she’s a nut lol, yet so inspiring. All of them had me yelling “Dope!” at the screen this weekend – like they are just who they are! I appreciate that. I’m inspired by that. They’re making a difference simply by showing up as they are.

I wanted to share a couple lessons I got from them:

  • No matter how dorky, how crazy, how awkward you are – you CAN be you.
  • The best you is the free you. (There’s no need to put yourself in a box nor operate in what others want you to be. When you submit to who you are and who you’ve been created to be, you can be you fearlessly and freely.)
  • If you believe you can, who can tell you differently? (If you gotta dream, go get it!)
  • Run your race! (No one can tell you how to live your life.)
  • Find the good in everything! (The power of positive thinking and goal setting.)
  • Know your why (Don’t forget what you’re doing it for. Let that be the thing that keeps you going.)
  • Keep creating your passions and don’t make excuses for yourself!

We all need reminders and inspiration. Be inspired. Be reminded.

Live life relinquished folks! –

Lauren ❤

How did you get to this point?

If you’re looking at your mountain and it feels impossible, I challenge you to take a walk down memory lane. How’d you get to this point? 

This morning I found myself in the book of Numbers with the Children of Israel (I often read an aspect of The Children of Israel story and think they’re so ridiculous how they carry on and doubt, etc. But then I’m shown how similar I am to them. LOL in my every day life, I too struggle with doubt and forgetfulness and much more).

So at this particular place in Numbers, Moses has just sent a spy party out to canvas the area and find their promised land flowing with milk and honey (Numbers 13:1-3, 21-25). When the spy party returns, they tell all the people that the land flows with milk and honey, BUT there are giants living there who are much more powerful than they and there’s no way they can get the land. They even go as far as to suggest they find a leader to take them back to Egypt because they think they should have never left in the first place (Numbers 13:26-33, 14:1-4).

Y’all on the outside looking in, I am soooooooo confused as to why these fools are trying to go back! I almost threw my phone reading that – like what the heck?!

But then, I could see the correlation to that in my life. Can I be real with y’all? There are several unknowns when starting a business. Relinquish has been such a blessing and a challenge and thorn in my side. And honestly I don’t know what I’m doing a lot of the time, and I get a gnawing a feeling that maybe I should just close down shop and that “at least I can say I did it” attitude with the fake smile through the tears. But can I tell you – that mindset is such a cop out! Just like the children of Isreal, God has done numerous things to get me to where I am now. HE HAS MADE A WAY! He’s parted the Red Sea; He’s given food in barren paces; He’s led and guided me and STILL I get to a place and get presented with a few challenges and I’m ready to throw in the towel?? Like NAH bruh! Don’t just give up like that! Pause and ask “How did I get to this point!?”

Back to the story – apparently Joshua (who went out with the spy party) has some sense! He’s like (paraphrasing) “is that really all y’all saw?! God didn’t bring us to this land for us to be intimidated by the giants and go home.” And I think perhaps the dopest thing Joshua says is …do not rebel against the LORD, nor fear the people of the land, for they are our bread…”(Numbers‬ ‭14:9‬). <— Are y’all reading that?!? He said those giants are bread! That giant, that challenge, that mountain, that hurdle (whatever you are facing) should not be looked at as a wall but as a source of fuel (food) to give you energy to keep going!!!!

LORD HAVE MERCY!! I just took a lap around my townhouse y’all. I’m out of breath and don’t have anything left, so I leave you with this – as you recall how you got to this point, make sure you note every time The Lord has allocated; Every time He has made a way; Every time he has provided for you; Every time He protected you. And see there is a REASON you stand where you are today. Don’t turn back because it’s difficult or unclear. Follow through with what The Lord has started!

Love y’all! –

Lauren Relinquished ❤

Reminiscing the first photo shoot for Relinquish™

Last year around this time I was preparing to shoot and introduce for THE very first time “Relinquish Wear.” I just got goosebumps thinking about it. I don’t think the planning was too much. I think it was that pit in my stomach that was my biggest hurdle to overcome. Sharing Relinquish publicly felt like so much (even if it was only 6 people at the shoot lol). I felt like my head was on the chopping block or something. Ok, that was really dramatic. I mean it really just felt like I was giving so much at that particular time. And I was. I’m a pretty private person, so sharing can be challenging at times. I felt so much of me was built into the apparel and the thought of sharing with others scared me, not to mention the thought of them also not understanding Relinquish and the affirmation apparel. But I told myself when I first started blogging in 2015 that I was doing it for me and that was that. If I really wanted to do something I shouldn’t be questioning and making excuses, I should just be doing. So that’s what carried me forward. I wanted to start an apparel line, so I did. I gathered some of the coolest people my fiancé knew and the 2 people I knew and we headed down to the streets of Atlanta and just shot and chilled.

It was amazing to be behind the camera. Director and shooter. Making up stuff as I went. Taking in suggestions and creating with everyone. Seeing the vision come to fruition was such a dope and liberating experience!
I remember that day vividly. And as I look back I hope I really savored that day too and what it meant. There’s been a lot of growth since that day. Relinquish is still coming along and has plenty of room to grow. We’re learning tho…you know learning and loving and growing through it all. So I’m staying faithful to the vision and purpose. Cheers to Relinquish Wear and all that it is so far and all it will become! *clinks glass*
-Lauren Relinquished
*Are you interested in participating in the next shoot? Email: LaurenRelinquished@GMail.com! or DM: @RelinquishWear on instagram*

No safety in playing small

-Where’s the power in playing small?

-Small mindedness yields small returns.
Years ago, I crossed paths with someone who challenged like every ounce of me. I always looked up to her and naturally during the period she became my mentor. One of the biggest things she taught me was to stop being feeble-minded.
Definition of Feeble:
Lacking strength of character.
Definition of “Feeble”: lacking strength of character Synonyms: cowardlycravenfaint-heartedspinelessspiritlesslily-liveredchinless

So funny that to this day I still hear her voice – “Don’t be feeble-minded, Lauren.” And she had this uncanny way of saying it jokingly, but at the same time you knew she was serious.
If you play small. You’ll be small.
If you think small. You’ll be small.
And I still remember the way Marianne Williamson’s poem “Our Deepest Fear” made me feel when I first heard it.
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.” 
(And yes, my first time hearing this was on the movie “Coach Carter” lol (if you’ve never seen that cinematic great, put it on your to-do list).)
The point is, sometimes it’s scary to think of how powerful we are. And I think some of my issue is playing in the “safe” area because then there is no “big failure” on the books. But in actuality, I don’t feel very safe in the “small” me.
And this failure that I’m afraid of is in a lot of ways, not real. No one is truly keeping track; it’s just in my head. It’s me that feels the realest deficit when I’m not being what’s so deeply ingrained in me. Just my sick sense of needing approval from others.
But I have a hard time with that – if it’s been placed on my heart – what other approval am I needing? My heart and spirit says so, so all I need to do is actualize. Bring it to fruition. Live and breathe it.
#RELINQUISH
-Lauren

Relinquished on another level.

It seems Relinquish is still the word to live out this year (and I can’t say that surprises me).
It’s now been 2 years since I started blogging and it’s been a journey for sure. I’ve shared, encouraged and let others in on a different level than I ever have, and it’s stretched me and opened me up to see myself from another angle.
And I suppose God sees it fit to continue this stretching and growing process. So I’ve been learning to push a little further and dig a little deeper. And it’s been a whirlwind these last 6 months. But as I continue to mature and evolve, so does the word and meaning of Relinquish in my life.
And it certainly isn’t just a word I selfishly keep for myself. I happily share it in hopes it resonates with you in a unique and special way.
I’ve talked and written about Relinquish and now I’ve been led to bring it to life in a new way. And y’all, I’ve struggled with doubts, you know…”Is it even good?” “Will people get it?” “Can I afford this?” “Do I have time for this?” “How do I even get a store?” “Am I capable?” etc. I’ve had ALL the questions, but I’ve also always had the answer…Just Relinquish. Set the idea and concepts free and let be! So here goes it!
I introduce to you…

RelinquishWear.com

Opening up to others.

Talking is really therapeutic.

(Trying not to laugh or scoff  at myself for stating the seemingly obvious, because obviously that wasn’t too obvious for me! And honestly, it may not truly be to you either.)

I like to stay true to what I preach, but I realize more often than not, I’m quick to listen and encourage others to speak up about what’s going on, but I’m not nearly as forthcoming. I’m a private person who has tons of conversations in my head so I feel like I’m addressing issues, and sometimes it is more appropriate to have those self reflection times. But in these last few days, I’ve had some people check on me and open their hearts and ears for me and I’ve said some things out loud and (OH MY GOODNESS) there have been some revelations on things I’ve been conversing with myself about in my head for weeks…months…years…

Just like that, saying some things out loud to other people has created a different type of atmosphere and freedom around me. Things have been revealed. Sound counsel has been delivered. Prayers have been answered. Doors have been opened and closed. Truths have been illuminated. 

I don’t know your “thing,” but for me, I think it’s almost always been the way that I share and let people in – I struggle with that. Since I can remember, I’ve been more of a private person…not exactly sure why that is, however my momma raised me to be independent, but i think in some ways I’d internalized that to mean I have to work out almost everything for myself…then in the last couple of years, I’ve relinquished a bit more and it became what God and I work out together and now I feel like more than ever I’m being forced to see the beauty and power in relationships with others. Because quite frankly, I don’t think this season can be faced without me acknowledging my need for others and then actually opening up to others.

With work, I gotta accept that I don’t know what I don’t know and lean on the wisdom and guidance of others to help me.

With my relationship with my man, I/we have to seek sound counsel that can help us walk our journey.

With my business plan, I have to allow others to share with me what they have so I can learn and even have a chance at success.

I could go on and on with the list, but at the end of the day none of this can happen if I just continue to have conversations in my head with myself. I have to branch out. I have to get outside my comfort zone. This season calls for new things…sometimes I wonder if I’m ready for them, but honestly, I don’t have to be ready or super knowledgeable, I just have to be willing to try…one day at a time.

So hold me accountable y’all! Future posts should show results of me reaching out and conversing openly with others…

-Lauren

Adventure in the “A”

I’ve lived in Atlanta for several months now, however I’ve done very little exploring. This summer has truly been a busy one with travel and major events to attend. But now, I’m ready to explore my new home a little more.

I woke up Saturday feeling slightly adventuresome so I text my favorite partner-in-crime and asked “Will you go exploring with me today!?” 

Here’s some of our day…

*click on the right and left of the image above to view photos*

 

-Lauren Relinquished ❤