Blog

Lauren Relinquished Discovery, Faith, Free To Be, Freedom, Inspiration, Motivation, Purpose, Self Discovery, Uncategorized

snow day findings & inspiration.

Snow days. First and foremost, I haven’t felt this freedom since college. Snow days were like getting an extra day back on your calendar. And these last few days, I’ve used it as my excuse to not leave the house. It’s been pure bliss my friends.

I’ve been able to knock out some wedding planning. Watch movies and specials. Read books. Reflect. Spend time with the fiancé. Talk and envision with self. Its been sooooo good. So very needed.

So a couple things I want to share:

The wedding is going to be bomb – celebration of the year (I’m claiming that)! We’re just really excited to celebrate with family and friends!

Bae and I watched Tiffany Haddish’s Showtime special – she’s hilarious y’all. It’s not an act – she just is who she is. I read another chapter of Issa Rae’s book – Awkward (y’all, I am her lol). I caught up on all the missed videos on Yvonne Orji’s Instagram page –she’s a nut lol, yet so inspiring. All of them had me yelling “Dope!” at the screen this weekend – like they are just who they are! I appreciate that. I’m inspired by that. They’re making a difference simply by showing up as they are.

I wanted to share a couple lessons I got from them:

  • No matter how dorky, how crazy, how awkward you are – you CAN be you.
  • The best you is the free you. (There’s no need to put yourself in a box nor operate in what others want you to be. When you submit to who you are and who you’ve been created to be, you can be you fearlessly and freely.)
  • If you believe you can, who can tell you differently? (If you gotta dream, go get it!)
  • Run your race! (No one can tell you how to live your life.)
  • Find the good in everything! (The power of positive thinking and goal setting.)
  • Know your why (Don’t forget what you’re doing it for. Let that be the thing that keeps you going.)
  • Keep creating your passions and don’t make excuses for yourself!

We all need reminders and inspiration. Be inspired. Be reminded.

Live life relinquished folks! –

Lauren ❤

Lauren Relinquished Uncategorized

Gratefulness!

It’s December and we’re in the midst of the holiday season! What better time to talk about gratefulness than now!? Although we hope you’re grateful throughout the year, sometimes that’s hard. So this month Tonie B. Cole and I tackle the streets to find how people are exercising gratefulness and what tips they may have!

VIDEO: Gratefulness – Tonie B. Cole & Lauren Relinquished

img_9615

Lauren Relinquished change, Discovery, Dream, Faith, Free To Be, Freedom, Inspiration, Motivation, Purpose, Renewal, Spiritual, Uncategorized, Unpacking

How did you get to this point?

If you’re looking at your mountain and it feels impossible, I challenge you to take a walk down memory lane. How’d you get to this point? 

This morning I found myself in the book of Numbers with the Children of Israel (I often read an aspect of The Children of Israel story and think they’re so ridiculous how they carry on and doubt, etc. But then I’m shown how similar I am to them. LOL in my every day life, I too struggle with doubt and forgetfulness and much more).

So at this particular place in Numbers, Moses has just sent a spy party out to canvas the area and find their promised land flowing with milk and honey (Numbers 13:1-3, 21-25). When the spy party returns, they tell all the people that the land flows with milk and honey, BUT there are giants living there who are much more powerful than they and there’s no way they can get the land. They even go as far as to suggest they find a leader to take them back to Egypt because they think they should have never left in the first place (Numbers 13:26-33, 14:1-4).

Y’all on the outside looking in, I am soooooooo confused as to why these fools are trying to go back! I almost threw my phone reading that – like what the heck?!

But then, I could see the correlation to that in my life. Can I be real with y’all? There are several unknowns when starting a business. Relinquish has been such a blessing and a challenge and thorn in my side. And honestly I don’t know what I’m doing a lot of the time, and I get a gnawing a feeling that maybe I should just close down shop and that “at least I can say I did it” attitude with the fake smile through the tears. But can I tell you – that mindset is such a cop out! Just like the children of Isreal, God has done numerous things to get me to where I am now. HE HAS MADE A WAY! He’s parted the Red Sea; He’s given food in barren paces; He’s led and guided me and STILL I get to a place and get presented with a few challenges and I’m ready to throw in the towel?? Like NAH bruh! Don’t just give up like that! Pause and ask “How did I get to this point!?”

Back to the story – apparently Joshua (who went out with the spy party) has some sense! He’s like (paraphrasing) “is that really all y’all saw?! God didn’t bring us to this land for us to be intimidated by the giants and go home.” And I think perhaps the dopest thing Joshua says is “…do not rebel against the LORD, nor fear the people of the land, for they are our bread…”(Numbers‬ ‭14:9‬). <— Are y’all reading that?!? He said those giants are bread! That giant, that challenge, that mountain, that hurdle (whatever you are facing) should not be looked at as a wall but as a source of fuel (food) to give you energy to keep going!!!!

LORD HAVE MERCY!! I just took a lap around my townhouse y’all. I’m out of breath and don’t have anything left, so I leave you with this – as you recall how you got to this point, make sure you note every time The Lord has allocated; Every time He has made a way; Every time he has provided for you; Every time He protected you. And see there is a REASON you stand where you are today. Don’t turn back because it’s difficult or unclear. Follow through with what The Lord has started!

Love y’all! –

Lauren Relinquished ❤

Lauren Relinquished Discovery, Faith, Free To Be, Freedom, Purpose, Self Discovery, Uncategorized

Reminiscing the first photo shoot for Relinquish™

Last year around this time I was preparing to shoot and introduce for THE very first time “Relinquish Wear.” I just got goosebumps thinking about it. I don’t think the planning was too much. I think it was that pit in my stomach that was my biggest hurdle to overcome. Sharing Relinquish publicly felt like so much (even if it was only 6 people at the shoot lol). I felt like my head was on the chopping block or something. Ok, that was really dramatic. I mean it really just felt like I was giving so much at that particular time. And I was. I’m a pretty private person, so sharing can be challenging at times. I felt so much of me was built into the apparel and the thought of sharing with others scared me, not to mention the thought of them also not understanding Relinquish and the affirmation apparel. But I told myself when I first started blogging in 2015 that I was doing it for me and that was that. If I really wanted to do something I shouldn’t be questioning and making excuses, I should just be doing. So that’s what carried me forward. I wanted to start an apparel line, so I did. I gathered some of the coolest people my fiancé knew and the 2 people I knew and we headed down to the streets of Atlanta and just shot and chilled.

It was amazing to be behind the camera. Director and shooter. Making up stuff as I went. Taking in suggestions and creating with everyone. Seeing the vision come to fruition was such a dope and liberating experience!
I remember that day vividly. And as I look back I hope I really savored that day too and what it meant. There’s been a lot of growth since that day. Relinquish is still coming along and has plenty of room to grow. We’re learning tho…you know learning and loving and growing through it all. So I’m staying faithful to the vision and purpose. Cheers to Relinquish Wear and all that it is so far and all it will become! *clinks glass*
-Lauren Relinquished
*Are you interested in participating in the next shoot? Email: LaurenRelinquished@GMail.com! or DM: @RelinquishWear on instagram*
Lauren Relinquished Discovery, Dream, Faith, Free To Be, healing, peace, Purpose, Uncategorized

Peace is my choice.

Much of my weekday is a constant go-go-go.

Be here at this time; connect with this person; sell this account; handle this service issue; fill out paper work; call this person; etc. And because of the demand, I seldom take a break. However today is different. Over the last couple months, I’ve been really been mindful of my peace. Where it’s at? What’s standing in the way of it? What foundation its built on; etc.

My peace is so important to me. I think I’ve known that on a basic level, but never truly understood that until life got real, REAL (so to speak). Like, when I was in a depressed state, peace usually felt pretty unattainable. And then like now, having a sales job, there are a lot of stressors at play. And if not careful, they’ll run you. I can’t have that tho. My being CANNOT be dependent on every little thing around me affecting me. I have to be able to take things as they come (because life is always throwing stuff; and people are continually…um people lol), so I have to be able to manage what’s “real” and whats not; what I can change and what I cannot: What’s worth my attention and what is not; Etc.

So today, I decided to take a quick break….enjoy this bench in this breezeway and enjoy and regain my peace. Because I should and I can.

-Lauren Relinquished

Lauren Relinquished Christian, Faith, Free To Be, Freedom, healing, Inspiration, Uncategorized

Remember to Relinquish

I’d say I’m past the days of shooting for perfection, yet I still find myself clinging and holding tightly to the idea of it. That “if I just do ____________ , it’ll be just right” type attitude. But that type of perspective throws off aim and focus. Forgetting what I’m doing “it” for in the first place. And when I find myself in those lost places I used to be kind of devastated you know? Now, I take them more like forced pauses, but in a good way. It’s an opportunity to stop. Just stop. Look around and observe my surroundings and how I got there. To take one hand off the the bar I’m holding so tightly to, and let loose a little. And it’s in those moments that I find God and my peace again and stop fretting. I’m told to Relinquish and right there…that’s all I need.

Be still. Breathe in. Breathe out. Remember to Relinquish.

Lauren Relinquished change, Christian, Devotion, Discovery, Dream, Faith, Free To Be, Uncategorized

No safety in playing small

-Where’s the power in playing small?

-Small mindedness yields small returns.
Years ago, I crossed paths with someone who challenged like every ounce of me. I always looked up to her and naturally during the period she became my mentor. One of the biggest things she taught me was to stop being feeble-minded.
Definition of Feeble:
Lacking strength of character.
Definition of “Feeble”: lacking strength of character Synonyms: cowardly, craven, faint-hearted, spineless, spiritless, lily-livered, chinless
So funny that to this day I still hear her voice – “Don’t be feeble-minded, Lauren.” And she had this uncanny way of saying it jokingly, but at the same time you knew she was serious.
—
If you play small. You’ll be small.
If you think small. You’ll be small.
And I still remember the way Marianne Williamson’s poem “Our Deepest Fear” made me feel when I first heard it.
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.” 
(And yes, my first time hearing this was on the movie “Coach Carter” lol (if you’ve never seen that cinematic great, put it on your to-do list).)
The point is, sometimes it’s scary to think of how powerful we are. And I think some of my issue is playing in the “safe” area because then there is no “big failure” on the books. But in actuality, I don’t feel very safe in the “small” me.
And this failure that I’m afraid of is in a lot of ways, not real. No one is truly keeping track; it’s just in my head. It’s me that feels the realest deficit when I’m not being what’s so deeply ingrained in me. Just my sick sense of needing approval from others.
But I have a hard time with that – if it’s been placed on my heart – what other approval am I needing? My heart and spirit says so, so all I need to do is actualize. Bring it to fruition. Live and breathe it.
#RELINQUISH
-Lauren
Lauren Relinquished change, Discovery, Faith, Free To Be, Self Discovery, Uncategorized

Are you all in?

I wrote a note to myself in my phone “notes” app that said “blog about what it means to be all in.”

And now I’m like – uh…where do I start? *sheesh*

I write a lot of notes and unfinished thoughts on my phone with all of the intent of returning to finish them and post them like a good blogger would, but truth is, I get a great thought or pressing to really share something, and then I let time be the determining factor – like “nah, no one wants to hear that anymore.” I don’t think life topics ever expire, but sometimes it’s just a lot easier to tell yourself that. After the motivation or climactic moment has passed and your inclination to write has dissipated, just forget about it…

However, here I am and I know in this moment I can’t just “forget about it.” It wasn’t just a passing thought for me to cling to in one moment, but more of a thought that requires some greater digging because Lord knows the thought of being “all in” has plagued every aspect of my life over the last 5+ months. Whether it be my day job, RELINQUISH™ brand, friendships/relationships, whatever.

And of course, because it’s been a reoccurring theme I’m always curious to know where and how it started, etc. My guess is some of what I deemed failure in my day job, led to some mindset shifts and fears arising in other aspects of life.

The new job hasn’t been all that I thought it would and I haven’t been all that I thought I would in this new role. Talk about humbling y’all. Ya girl, thought she was great at everything and then I felt like I met my match. The crazy thing about it, I was whining about my job beating me up over the last months, but it was me beating me up. No one thing can ever overtake me. But I’ll tell you this – your mindset certainly can and will play a huge part in your success or demise. If you mindset says you can’t – then you can’t (simple as that).

So somewhere along the way I developed and fed these thoughts to myself – at least achieve average and your boss will get off your back; when I get to a certain point it’ll be smooth sailing and I’ll fly under the radar; just do it and if it doesn’t work out, you can at least say you experienced.

But there are so many things wrong with these ideas:

First, it’s easier to shoot for mediocrity because there is no perceived failure…at first. But if I have never been or seen myself as average, how in the world am I going to try and fit that mold now? That ain’t me and will never be me, and when you know you’re capable of more, you don’t settle simply because you can’t. Second, flying under the radar “feels” safer, but feeling and knowing are too different things. If I feel like this is enough, but know I’m capable of giving more than I am, then there’s no safety in that because I’m not being true to myself or my work. Third, doing something for the sake of doing it, isn’t actually doing it. If you’re going to do it, be all in.

So being all in for me right now means I have to change my attitude and my efforts. *Ugh* even just typing that makes me ache a little because I know there can’t be anymore “let’s just do a little” talk. I just keep picturing myself returning to the gym every day and doing reps with 5lb weights when I know darn well I need to be using the 50’s. If my effort isn’t matching what the task at hand is requiring then I’m not “all in.” If my mind is still questioning that which I already know the answer, I’m not “all in.”

Finding myself here is hard and I didn’t think I needed this lesson…like I’m beyond it for some reason or another, but truth is I’m not. I’m here. Working on being “all in”…yes even in the places that God has already blessed and given specifically to me. It’s hard, but having the honest conversation with self with where you stand and what you’ll do this day forward, does change things. There’s a lot of me not wanting to do stuff, but first and foremost what’s given to me is an honor, and also I’m an adult and nobody is going to do it for me. So its feast or famine, ya know? Your choice.

-Lauren

 

Lauren Relinquished change, Christian, Discovery, Faith, Free To Be, Freedom, Uncategorized

Show up.

I’ve never had to work so hard in my life.

I don’t mean that in a dramatic way, I just don’t think I’ve ever had to work so much.

Up to this point, it feels like a lot of things either came naturally or just weren’t that hard. Sure, there have been some difficult moments, but not like this.

I guess I’ll elaborate…I’ve never worked so hard at my romantic relationship, at work, on myself, on a passion.

Like back in school, I may get a tough assignment or shoot a tough course for the semester, but at least you can kind of gauge where you are and get a return on an investment for your actions (i.e. Study for a test à make a grade).

You ever feel like you’re just hanging in the balance? Not sure if you’re making the grade or not? Feeling like your output should look way different considering all you’ve input?? Yeah…

Nowadays, I feel like I have a lot of regrouping moments where I’m having to confirm with God a billion times about what He told me; repeat affirmation statements; cry it out; work it out; ask other people; etc.

It’s a lot at times. Through it all I don’t feel crazy tho. Although I’ve had those moments…feeling like I can’t hold it together, but not this time. However, I am constantly fighting for balance. When I feel my mental/emotional scale tipping too far in one direction, I know something’s gotta give and I make executive decisions to take “time outs.”

Those pauses consist of me relinquishing my grip on whatever has me wound tight and doing something that Lauren genuinely would enjoy, just because. Don’t laugh at me, but the other night, all I wanted to do was jog to the post office. Y’all I was so excited for a little bit of daylight and outdoor air! Never mind the fact I live in the hood where no one jogs for fun and the busy street I had to cross and the cars I had to dodge. I wanted to run and Watch the sunset AND check my mail and I did just that. But my momma would’ve beat me if she saw me because I let the street lights beat me home (please don’t tell her lol).

Anyways, I think what I’m getting at, is that I’m not used to working this hard with what seems like little return on my investments. It feels foreign to be in this place and I often fight the feelings of wanting to rewind or run to something “easier/different.” But despite those feelings I stay because with all my questioning, God gives me the same answer “show up.”

Show up to work, show up to my relationship, show up to the mirror and take hard looks at myself, just show up and He’ll work out the rest.

And that puts me at peace because I know my God is not a God of wasted time. He doesn’t waste His nor my time, so that tells me there’s something here for me. And as long as God continues to be in this place, there I’ll be also…pushing through the work, the tears, the frustration, the fatigue.

-Lauren
Lauren Relinquished Dream, Faith, Free To Be, Purpose, Uncategorized

Relinquished on another level.

It seems Relinquish is still the word to live out this year (and I can’t say that surprises me).
It’s now been 2 years since I started blogging and it’s been a journey for sure. I’ve shared, encouraged and let others in on a different level than I ever have, and it’s stretched me and opened me up to see myself from another angle.
And I suppose God sees it fit to continue this stretching and growing process. So I’ve been learning to push a little further and dig a little deeper. And it’s been a whirlwind these last 6 months. But as I continue to mature and evolve, so does the word and meaning of Relinquish in my life.
And it certainly isn’t just a word I selfishly keep for myself. I happily share it in hopes it resonates with you in a unique and special way.
I’ve talked and written about Relinquish and now I’ve been led to bring it to life in a new way. And y’all, I’ve struggled with doubts, you know…”Is it even good?” “Will people get it?” “Can I afford this?” “Do I have time for this?” “How do I even get a store?” “Am I capable?” etc. I’ve had ALL the questions, but I’ve also always had the answer…Just Relinquish. Set the idea and concepts free and let be! So here goes it!
I introduce to you…

RelinquishWear.com