I remember boldly declaring, “This Summer, I’m going to fall madly in love with myself.” That was summer 2015. I hate to say I’ve fallen out of love with myself, but I certainly haven’t done a great job of loving me; spending time with me; making time for me; having a relationship with me.
It seemed like such a great goal to achieve that summer (and it was so needed, especially at that time), but as y’all know, we learn, we evolve, we change and we have to continue to get to know the person we are becoming. Sometimes that requires us to learn how to love ourselves in new ways too.
Previously, I had an abundant amount of free time, that I pretty much dedicated to just me..I worked out, I read books, I wrote, I planned for the future, I slept, I communed with others from time to time. Now, I have a demanding job, a husband, bills, responsibilities, commitments, a miniature social life, etc. And in all that, it’s imperative that I still find time for Lauren.
Even as other things fight to take my attention, I can’t forget my priorities.
Put importance on your priorities.
I have workaholic tendencies, so my hubby, being the caring and observant person he is, asked me when’s the last time I did something exclusively for Lauren. Of course he already knew the answer to that question, so he politely broke it down to me like this:
“You have 24 hours in a day – approximately 1/3 of the day goes to sleep/rest, the other 1/3 goes to your job and that last 1/3 of the pie – should go to you.”
I don’t know about you, but this was new to me. It’s very logical and makes complete sense, but I quickly found all the faults in his simple theory: it’s not realistic; what about all my other responsibilities; My job requires me to do work after hours; how would this work if you have a family?
Again, he knows me well so he was quick to rebut with “…that’s why I challenge you to give yourself just one hour per day where you’re doing nothing, but something enjoyable to you.”
I agreed with him that, that sounded simple and easy enough to do. And then POW! 2 months go by and here I am asking myself why I’ve yet to do more than 3 “Hour for Lauren.” I’ve come to the conclusion, that I make a lot of EXCUSES for why I can’t do something, because at this point in my life, where things seem pretty busy, I haven’t made myself much of a priority.
I know in theory, that I have to love and love on Lauren, but I put forth little effort to actually make that happen. I mean well, but I don’t necessarily do well.
We can intend to do something, but intention and action are 2 different things.
Anyone else at that same place? Intending to do well, but not really doing it??
What’s an excuse you cannot make for yourself today?
Personally, I can no longer stand behind the excuse that I have to work.
I’ve broken this down for me like this – Sure, there’s work that needs to get done, but my life goal is not to work myself to death; Not everything has to be done right then and there, some things can wait until the next day; I also can’t be the best me at my job if I’m not renewing myself on a consistent basis.
I believe there’s time that can be dedicated to just you, it’s just a matter of us finding it and whole-heartedly believing we are worthy and deserving of that time.
We gotta do a better of job of not just talking about loving ourselves, but actually relinquishing those distractions and excuses, and making it a habit and priority.
-Lauren Relinquished ❤