One of the awesome things about God is that He gives His children free will.
I just so happen to be at the point where that’s nice to know in theory, but I’m not sure how to act that out in reality.
Things were so simple when I first started allowing God to intervene in my life. I mean, I did make the choice to give my life to Him (which was pretty scary), but things were kind of black and white for me then. You know…real “yes” and “no” with little gray area.
But this afternoon, it became more clear than ever, that God is no longer babying me. Sure, I’m still His baby/His child, but I’m maturing and growing and that requires a shift – a change in my attitude and behavior.
He’s weened me off of bottles and is beginning to give me table food, but like a shrieking lil baby, I’m still crying for the nipple.
But there are no more bottles to be had. He wants me to pick up my own fork (or spork) and chew the big people food.
I mean, it’s only right…I am growing after all. It’s time for me to make my moves and trust that I’ll be guided by Him on how to stay fed.
A baby is fed bottles and the sort because they are not strong enough nor big enough to feed themselves. Therefore their caregiver does everything for them.
Similarly, I’ve looked to The Lord to keep making my decisions for me. He’s bigger, wiser, been doing it longer (ya know?), so I just keep looking to Him to continue feeding me my next moves.
But He’s like: “Lauren, you’re older now. It’s time for you to try and do it yourself.”
Me: “But why Lord? You’re so awesome at it; My life has never been better, I want you to do it.
God: “I’m not leaving you Lauren, I just want you to exercise your right – and do it yourself. I’ll still be here to oversee and provide guidance.”
Then like a toddler, I crossed my arms and attempted to go on strike until The Lord started making my decisions again.
Needless to say that didn’t last too long because the toddler in me realized God isn’t playing. I’ll starve if I never attempt to pick up the fork. But even worse, I’ll remain a scared little girl if I never attempt to make my own decisions.
No one can make it for me, God really does bless us with free will and we have to learn to exercise it. We can’t remain trapped to the baby-life where the bottle is simply given every time we cry and poot.
I’m daring to be daring today; To pick up the spork; To make my own decisions and trust that God is there with me and within me to guide me.
If I don’t pick up the spork to feed myself, I’ll starve from my inability to make a decision.