If someone gave you this advice, what would you think?
“STOP PUTTING HUMANS IN GOD’S PLACE.”
I didn’t quite understand at first, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized how many times I’ve done that! After rummaging my brain it dawned on me that I’ve done that TONS of times, actually.
And there’s one common thing that unites all the scenarios in which I’ve placed humans in God’s position – a severed or damaged relationship. I realized the times I’ve done that, I’m either no longer friends, no longer dating or I have a bumpy relationship with that person.
Placing people in God’s place causes a tremendous imbalance in those relationships. By holding them to perfect standards, you don’t allow that person to be exactly what they are – human!
One of the greatest examples I have of that, is with my ex. I often would depend on him to make me feel better and to be my savior in the case of hard times. I realize how unrealistic it was of me to think that. Not only was I holding him to supernatural standards, but I didn’t leave him an exception to be human. I placed so much of my faith in him and when he was unable to deliver me from things (mind you, they were things that only God could deliver me from), I felt disappointed, let down and even as if he wasn’t good enough.
*shakes head sadly*
I was suffering from deeper rooted issues like self-esteem, but I looked to my boyfriend at the time for validation in ways that I’ll never quite understand.
All that brokenness in me longed to be made whole by the relationships I held with other people. But the minute one of them didn’t deliver as I thought they could’ve/should’ve/would’ve, a deep dissatisfaction grew in my heart. I’m learning now that dissatisfaction was for myself and not the others I tried to place the blame on. I sought and placed them in unimaginable positions that they were never meant to hold. I didn’t even communicate to them that they were being held to such high expectations; I just assumed all my neediness was understood by my boyfriend, friends, and family, without inviting them into knowing my underlying expectations.
By all means, I think you should have faith and believe in people, but not to the point where you’re placing them where God should be. My ex couldn’t save me from my lack of self-esteem. He sure as heck did a great job of stroking my ego often (and I’ll always be grateful for that), but if I can’t sustain my own self-esteem, then there’s a deeper lying issue (after all, it’s called SELF esteem).
That’s just one of many examples. If you look at your life, what instances can you think of where you’ve placed humans in lofty positions that God should have held? Just think on that one…
Did you come up with a few? Yeah, I thought of a few more too.
Soften your heart in those relationships to accommodate their humanness. Forgive them. Forgive yourself. Seek God to fill those voids where you’ve placed people. He got you!